Couples and Money -- Commentary #4

         As you were leaving for work on Friday, you said to your partner, “Did you pay the car insurance?”  

         Or as you wrote out the check for groceries... you looked at the three pages in your checkbook register of checks -- none of which had been subtracted and you wondered if there was enough money in the account.

         Or as you looked at the quarterly savings account summary, you tried to figure out why the balance was so low.

         Did the two of you make your last money decision when you were exhausted just before bed?  Or as one of you was running out the door?  Or with a child crying nearby?  Or.....?  Your full concentration was not on the the money decision because you weren’t prepared to make a decision. 

         What action step can you take to go from an ineffective communication model to one that works?  Decide to have a business meeting where you as a couple can make money decisions.

         This meeting provides a place where you can make money decisions  and complete money tasks.  My clients make very different money decisions during a business meeting than they made before they started their meetings.  When both members of a couple are focused and prepared to work at this meeting, they make more effective money decisions.  Couples also say that there is less stress and conflict in their life because they are showing each other more respect by not trying to make money decisions as they come and go.

         This business meeting action step will only work if you actually  schedule this meeting with each other in your schedule.

         Schedule a meeting for one time each week for no more than one hour.  Frequent, shorter meetings are more efficient for making money decisions than longer, frustrating  financial marathons.

         In this meeting, you will go over money decisions that need to be made.  You may pay bills and go over your budget.  You may talk about your goals and future planning.  You can use this meeting for making decisions about any part of your financial life.

         Remember,  keeping your commitment to meet together -- week after week after week gives you, as a couple,  communication time to practice effective, respectful decision making in your financial life.